Why were all these not told by them ? 


I heard the huge commotion, as though the world was shaken and mountains were crying. I caught a glimpse from the window of my busy life. Apparently my dearest love has been insulted, again and again, numerous times. Angered and insulted, those who shared the same feelings as mine,  protested by arising commotions here and there.


I took a deep breath. I was choking with emotions.


I closed my eyes and I could feel the strains of cold tears flowing on the cheeks.


I am aggrieved by both. By those who created the video and to their attitude in defacing the beauty of Islam


I thus looked back to my beloved who is now eternally embedded in the pages of the holy scripture. Trying to find something…….


For those who have insulted my beloved Prophet. And for those who are unbecoming behaviour, in defense of my Prophet.


He looked very tired. With blood and injury decorating his skin and body. Even then , Zaid bin Haritha strived to give his best, ignoring the pain and wound, resulted when  the people of Ta’if stoned him.


It was then that he prayed to ALLAH swt. Affirmed all his efforts, and asked for forgiveness if this all happened because of his weaknesses. Stating what ailed him, and to ALLAH swt alone where he was able to count and rely on.


The whole universe heard the prayer, and angels descended with propositions. If desired, the mountains of Ta’if would be lifted and the tribe of Ta’if crushed with it. But in the midst of all the injury and pain, in the midst of grief and inability,


The messenger of Allah said:

“Don’t, but hope that from them, will be born of those who believe in Him(Allah Swt).”


I have not been there, but standing in that place linked only these history containing sheets, my finger holding it were shedding tears.


Is this the Muhammad s.a.w. they hated ?


Why was this not described in their stories?


Why is this then, not emulated by those who want to defend him( Muhammad saw)?


He was then in a crucial moment. Ravenous humans from Quraysh kaafir (ignorant) groups were racing to end his life. Due to the non compliance of a small group of soldiers in the military, the line of the Muslim army in the field had been destroyed, enabling the enemy soldiers to break through to the last frontier. All for the thirst of his blood.


During this alarming moment, before other companions arrived, only  Sa’ad bin Abi Waqqas and Talha bin Ubaidullah, was beside, defending the Prophet with all their strength and ability.


At that time Ibn Qami’ah from the opposing team managed to break through and threw hits. First, his shoulders became the victims, then his cheek. The strap of  his steel helmet, entrapped into his cheek. Some of his teeth were broken, and then the blood began to flow freely. He had to use his bare hands to retain his gushing blood.


At that moment he uttered:,

“O Lord, forgive my people, they are indeed ignorant”


And Abu Ubaidah who have just arrived, immediately proceeded  to disconnect the helmet strap, to which his own teeth fell out. Then came Abu Talhah, followed by Abdurrahman bin Auf and Abu Bakr to  defend him( the prophet) and fought off the enemy from that area.


The atmosphere was very touching. I was not there. But it is as though I was there.


My heart heavily pounded, just by visualising the event.


Why was this not being told?

And why, this  attribute of our prophet didn’t become an example?


He seemed passionate when he cordially raced away with his beloved wife Aisyah. Was affectionate  to his wives at home. He loves them all,  Hafsah,  Umm Salamah,  Zaynab bint Jahsy and those wives who were loyal and faithful, nevertheless always praising and remembering his first wife Khadijah with love and affection.


Despite being busy and with war, resistance, sermons, friends and colleagues, he never carried all the stress and pressure home, yet allocating time to mingling with his wives, his children and helping in managing the household affairs.


The Prophet also set excellent examples to his wives. At times when Aisyah accidently dropped the bread she was carrying, he will pick it up, blow it clean then continue to eat it. There shouldn’t be wastage, he emphasized.


During the times, when, out of jealousy , Ayesha slaps the meal tray coming from Zainab,his other wife to the ground, he would calmly and gently entice her to pick it up and send a meal back to Zainab in reciprocation.


If it was true the he was a sex maniac, a pedophile, a women abuser, then why was his wives happy and then became the alliance in spreading the teachings brought by him?


He advocated the rights of women, the wives, who was at that time only considered as a place for sexual satisfaction and slaves. He honored the women and respected them. And he neither retorted at his wives if there was no food prepared nor did he fuss when his meal was not up to his expectation.


Then , why all these were not told at all?

And why, from among his coreligionists, who claim to have faith in him, have not followed his footsteps in doing justice to their women?


I was not there, nor did I exist when He existed, but I never failed to feel alive with him. I pressed the holy book against my face, if only these writings enabled me to breathe his fragrance.


Tears flowed…


Do people recognize Abdullah ibn Ubayy ibn Salul? Head of  hypocrites. Among those who created a turmoil by spreading about the lies on Aisyah being disloyal. Who made 300 military from the 1,000 soldiers sent to Uhud return back to Madinah. He who publicly and shamelessly claimed that he will chase Muhammad saw out of Medina.


To the extend, Umar RA who known for defending Muhammad wanted to decapitate Abdullah.


But what did the Prophet do?


He prevented Umar RA, and said:

“Do you want people to say, that Muhammad killed his own kin?”


And when Abdullah ibn Ubayy ibn Salul passed away,  he performed the  Funeral Prayers and prayed for him with love. But ALLAH swt Himself prevented him in doing so. And then came the verse:


“You ask forgiveness for them or do not you ask forgiveness for them (is the same). Even if ye ask forgiveness for them seventy times, Allah will never forgive them. That is because they disbelieved in Allah and His Messenger. And Allah does not guide the transgressing people.” Surah At-Tawbah verse 80.


But being passionate, he said: “And I will pray for forgiveness for him more than 70 times.”


And then ALLAH swt gave the meaning and the assertion of the verse:


“And do thou pray (funeral) a person who died in them, and do not stand (pray) in his grave. They disbelieved in Allah and His Messenger, and died in a state of perverse rebellion. “ Surah At-Tawbah verse 84.


And made the Prophet understand that there is no forgiveness, for those die without repenting his sins.


But the Prophet’s love shined his actions at that time. Even Abdullah ibn Ubayy Ibn Salul endeavored to hurt him, day after day, time after time.


But look at how the Prophet treated him. Strived to the end for all his Nation to attain paradise.


Why were all these not told by them?


Why did this remarkable majestic and beauty of this attitude not emulated by those who want to defend him?


I was not there. But these stories live with me. I am always searching for all these in today’s life, especially within myself.


Where is he, the one we love, in our daily lives?


During the time when the completely armored army was moving from the four corners of Mecca, the holy city was rocked by the tramping sounds of men and animals. All that existed in the city trembled. Playing back in their hearts and minds; all the tortures, insults, murder attempts, the rebellious campaigns that they did against the Prophet.


Everyone rushed into their homes. Some were hiding in the Grand Mosque, and Abu Sufyan was hiding with his family in his house.


Before the coming to Makkah with his 10,000 soldiers, the noble Prophet sent Abu Sufyan back to Makkah with a message full of humanity:


“Those who entered the house of Abu Sufyan, will be safe. Those who entered their homes will be safe. Those who entered the mosque, will be safe. “


And then a call came for all to gathered around the Prophet. There were spies who managed to see how he came through riding the camel. Not even his honorable body claimed that he should do so; but he bowed down, till his head was almost touching his camel’s back. His mouth humbly whispering his success to Allah swt.


Whilst everyone in Mecca waited in silence for his decision, he asked:


“What do all of  you assume I will do?”


The one standing closest to him said:


“We have known you for a good person, and we are sure you will do us good things only.”


Then he smiled, and he who was tortured, humiliated and wished dead by the people of Mecca said:


“Today, I say to you as Joseph had spoken to his relatives: On this day no insult should become on you, I hope that Allah will forgive you, and He is the Most Merciful among  the Merciful (Surah Yusuf,verse 92)”


Yes. I was not there that day. Not there at that moment. Yet, I could feel his love.


How could a war and blood a crazy person perform such actions?


How is a sex maniac capable of moral in such a way?


Why was these not told by them?


They have insulted our Prophet, without realizing how much he loved all those among the Prophets. Often teaching his community, Moses and Jesus are his brothers.


They have insult the beloved Prophet, without taking into consideration how often he instructed his troops not to indiscriminately chop down trees, not to disturb the people who were in their houses and those who were worshipping.


History itself acknowledges Salahuddin Al-Ayubi  as a testament to the beauty of our Prophet’s teachings, how peaceful he concurred  Jerusalem and sympathized with its people, though the troops from  Jerusalem are among the Christian Crusaders who shed the blood of those against them to the height of  horses knees.


Sometimes I am puzzled with how they trot our noble Prophet.


If what good is said, is right about this holy man, then why does the Muslim community resort to violence?


Yes. I wonder when a Muslim somewhere; does something wrong, all that is blamed is Islam.


I want to ask,


When the nuclear bombs fell on Hiroshima and Nagasaki was this in the teachings from the Bible?




Is Christianity to blamed or the Bible was to be held responsible for these cruel actions of these ignorants?


I want to ask ,


The taking of the Palestine land and the establishment of Israel, murders after murders, and all the  tyranny and cruelty, is it the teaching of the Torah?


Does this give me a reason in wanting to insult Judaism for all these violation?


Islam is always blamed for one individual Muslims behavior,


Will they be able to accept, if I am to blame Christianity for actions of Christians and Judaism for action of its Jewish followers?


Certainly on the basis of human rights, you will be upset, and angered by me. But evaluate it for yourselves!


Every time, shamelessly and without a thorough study and observation, they insult our beloved Prophet Muhammad, Islam, and the oneness and sanctity of Allah swt. He has been slandered as sex crazy and blood crazy.


It is nothing but scruples slanders and defamation without completely looking at all angles of his life!


How he attended to his grandchildren who sometimes played thereon while he was performing his solah,


How he joked and respectfully mingled with older women who held grandmother status,


How he sat together with the poor people, to an extend those who came up to see him could not distinguish the difference in status between him and them.


How honourable he was, how merciful he was in passing any sentence or punishment, how he hated tyranny.


Why was these not raised or mentioned?


And what made me more puzzled is; why they did those claiming to defend him, did not persistently emulated him?


I opened my eyes, glazed away from the ocean of reference. I put down the magnificent scripture that told all the history, and took a deep breath.


My beloved Messenger of Allah, noble and beautiful in his personality, never killed anyone who was not supposed to. And if someone was found guilty, only the guilty was punished. In Islam, children will not inherit the sins of their parents and one will not inherit the sins of others.


In Islamic teachings, bombing buildings and killing innocent people for the mistakes and the damage done by others to the Muslim community are prohibited.


On the contrary, the other party, who proclaimed themselves intellectuals, didn’t think; who will not be angry and emotionally distracted when one’s beloved, who is considered higher than oneself is humiliated?


Hence, why provoke unrest?


Is not it enough all the previous videos of humiliation of the Islamic teaching and lifestyle, the Prophet, even Allah swt  himself insulted by the insatiable?


Is it not enough?


And to my brothers, somehow I recall the numerous times we have received such provocation. Haven’t we learnt? Indeed they deliberately want to make us angry and then react the way they are not supposed to, so that their journey and battle to smear Islam becomes easier.


I am always thinking how to change this situation….


So finally I realise myself.


Hey, why I’m still sitting here?


Then I switched on my computer. On my social sites


Yes. This is my response.


And I hope that soon, Allah swt will unite me with my beloved who have been insulted.


At least I want to be able to say with him later:


“O my beloved, I have defended you, by the way you have taught me to .”


Yes. That is what I will do, when you insult my Prophet.






They say good things come to those who waits. But waiting alone is not enough. Good things do not come to those who wait. Good things come to those who pursue the goals and dreams they believe in.

Dreams and goals.

Something that i love to talk about.  I have so many dreams. i live my life, believing that dreaming can give me happiness. Executing the dreams with goals in life will make me satisfied. But life is not like a bed of roses. Sometimes it feels like too good to be true, and sometimes it feels like between the devil and the deep sea, having dangers in between.

Different people have different aim. See, my goal is different from yours. Some of us may aim high, some may not. The previous me would always aim high because i do not believe in biasa-biasa. To be good, you must aim high. But as time goes by, when some tragedies occurred, i know that aiming too high will make you fall into pieces if it is not done according to the actual plan.

Sometimes, perfect for others does not mean it is perfect for you.  Sometimes,  things that have most flaws will suits you best. Why? Because you know in any way, you can resist the flaws. While the so-called-perfect, once broken considered sold.  

Hmm. This is only my thought. If yours is different, i am totally fine 🙂

p/s- I’ve always  wish to have a good life, but not with myself as the bone of contention.  Never. 

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Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.


Every day we tell each other
That this day will be the last
And tomorrow we all can go home free
And all this will finally end
Palestine tomorrow will be free
Palestine tomorrow will be free

No mother no father to wipe away my tears
That’s why I won’t cry
I feel scared but I won’t show my fears
I keep my head high

Deep in my heart I never have any doubt
That Palestine tomorrow will be free
Palestine tomorrow will be free

I saw those rockets and bombs shining in the sky
Like drops of rain in the sun’s light
Taking away everyone dear to my heart
Destroying my dreams in a blink of an eye

What happened to our human rights?
What happened to the sanctity of life?
And all those other lies?

I know that I’m only a child
But is your conscience still alive

I will caress with my bare hands
Every precious grain of sand
Every stone and every tree
‘Cause no matter what they do
They can never hurt you
Coz your soul will always be free

Palestine tomorrow will be free
Palestine tomorrow will be free

*Ya Allah, selamatkan saudara seislamku 😦

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Biar lah malu-malu pun.
Biar lah segan-segan pun.
Biarlah dikatakan tak sporting pun.
Biarlah dikatakan ketinggalan zaman pun.
Biarlah dikatakan ” lebih gemar reserved kan diri ” pun.

Yang penting I tak pernah rugi apa-apa pun.



Apabila kita asyik duduk termenung memikirkan nasib diri, merenung jauh mereka disana hidup penuh keseronokkan dan kegembiraan, namun kita masih tak sedar mengenai HAKIKAT ERTI KEBAHAGIAAN YANG SEBENAR-BENARNYA.

Ramai orang tersalah sangka mengenai maksud kebahagiaan dalam hidup, selalu orang mengaitkan faktor kebahagiaan hidup dengan harta, dengan faktor kekayaan,walaupun sememangnya faktor itu turut menjadi penyumbang, tetpi itu bukanlah segala-galanya. Ingatlah, betapa ramai orang yang berada dan memiliki rumah besar dan mewah, tidur di atas katil yang empuk, tetapi dia tidak memiliki ketenangan dan lenanya tidak neyenyak. Bahkan orang yang tidur dipondok buruk,kadang-kala lebih lena tidurnya berbanding mereka yang menetap di rumah mewah. Ada juga orang yang dihidangkan dengan hidangan yang hebat dan lauk pauk yang hebat, tetapi lidahnya tidak memperolehi nikmat keenakan itu. Bahkan orang yang hanya di hidangkan satu dua jenis lauk sahaja tetapi dapat menikmati hidangan dengan lebih sedap dan selesa.
Kata Hamka, 
“lihatlah bagaimana Allah membahagi-bahagikan nikmatnya” 
semua orang menyangka, 
andai memiliki kemewahan tentulah akan memiliki 
kebahagiaan dan ketenangan dalam kehidupan.
Tiada apa yang mampu menghalang ketetapan Allah SWT. Jika Allah hendak memberikan kebahagiaan kepada seseorang, dia tidak boleh ditahan oleh apa-apa tangan sekalipun. Dan jika Allah menghalang kebahagiaan kepada seseorang, dia tidak boleh di hulur oleh apa-apa tangan sekalipun.
Jika Allah menguruskan urusan kita dan Allah tidak menyerahkan urusan diri kita kepada kita walaupun sekelip mata dunia boleh berbuat apa-apa, tetapi mereka tidak boleh mencabar kebesaran Allah.
Jika Allah mengaturkan untuk kita apa yang orang sangkakan kita tewas, kita akan melihat kemenangan dari sisi Allah, apa yang orang rasa rugi, Allah akan berikan keuntungan yang mana jalan-jalan manusia tidak menyangka dan Allah mewujudkan keajaiban dalam kehiduan.
Apabila kita asyik mengeluh setiap kali ditimpa musibah, lihatlah wahai dunia, kadangkala manusia apabila hilang suatu benda daripada dunia, seolah olah seperti hilang segala-galanya. Ingatlah kembali dalam hidup kita, sudah berkali-kali kita mengharungi keperitan hidup. Ingatlah ketika kita melalui keperitan kita akan merasakan seperti kita tidak dapat keluar daripada permasalahan itu, tetapi hari ini Allah telah keluarkan kita berada dalam keadaan yang baik. 
Ketika kita ditimpa musibah tertentu, kita akan mengeluh dan berkata “habislah aku kali ini”, Tetapi usia kita semakin berjalan, Allhamdulillah kita masih lagi hidup dan makan dan menikmati kurniaan hidup ini. 
Ketika kesusahan kita akan mengatakan “Ya Allah tolonglah aku, Ya Allah tolonglah aku, aku susah Ya Allah”, tetapi hari ini kita telah lupa akan perkataan itu,dan kita kadang-kala lupa untuk bersyukur diatas pelbagai ranjang hidup yang telah Allah keluarkan kita daripadanya.
Orang-orang berkata kepada kita 
“disana orang ramai berkumpul untuk mengambil tindakan kepada kau”,
 “habis lah kau kali ini”, Tetapi Allah berkata, iman dia bertambah. 
Tidak sepatutnya kita mengatakan
 “mengapalah Allah membenci aku? Apalah dosa aku”.

kata Al-Quran, iman mereka bertambah. 
Mereka kata “cukuplah bagi kami Ya Allah, Dialah sebaik-baik tempat diserahkan urusan”.
Pengalaman sering mematangkan diri, siapa yang tisdak melaluinya tidak akan memahami. Maksudnya, orang-orang yang pernah hidup dalam tawakal, dia akan mengetahui tentang keajaiban bertawakal, bila hati insan bulat kepada Ya Rabbi “Ya Allah aku serahkan urusan ini kepadamu Ya Allah”
Kita sering lupa pada kehidupan kita di akhirat, 
apabila insan melihat dunia darpada dimensi akhirat, dia kan merasakan dunia ini sangat kecil, kehidupan ini sangat luas.
Masihkah kita ingat akan nikmat yang Allah berikan kepada kita selam ini ?
kita selalu hendak bersyukur andai diberikn benda baru.
Dan kita lupa bahawa apa yang ada pada kita ini adalah satu nikmat yang besar.

Kata Hamka, “Yang ada ini sudah harapan kita”
yang kita ada sekarang inilah harapan kita,. Tetapi insan, bukan salah untuk kita mengharapkan yang belum ada, tetapi jangan lupa pada yang telah ada.


dengan nama Allah yang maha pemurah lagi maha mengasihani..

andai kita ditakdirkan tidak dilahirkan sebagai anak orang kaya..bermakna kita mungkin akan melalui jalan hidup yang serba kelam..bermakna kita mungkin tidak dapat menikmati masa kanak2 kita dengan gemilang..kita mungkin tidak dapat apa yang kita nak..hanya sekadar tahu melihat dan menyaksikan orang yang nasibnya lebih baik dari kite mendapat apa yang dia nak sedangkan kita tidak..
ingat..jangan kite terlalu mengeluh kerana insyallah..tidak dilahirkan sebagai anak orang kaya tidak bermakna kita tidak boleh menjadi kaya..

andai kite ditakdirkan dilahirkan sebagai orang yang tidak genius..kita mungkin selalu gagal dalam pelajaran..orang lain belajar, terus melekat dekat kepala otak sedangkan kite puas berusaha..puas belajar tapi kita tetap mendapat markah yang tercorot..orang lain usaha sekali ganda..kita berusaha berkali kali ganda..kite tidak dapat masuk university..spm kite teruk..degree kite third class..dengan result yang kite ade..kite asyik fail untuk dapat kerja..
ingat..jangan terlalu sesal dengan pencapaian kite..kerana insyallah..tidak genius bukan bermakna kite bodoh..tidak mendapat grad yang bagus tidak bermakna kite lebih worse daripada mereka mendapat gred yang bagus..

andai kite ditakdirkan untuk bermula dari kosong..sedangkan orang lain bermula jauh lebih atas dari kite..tidak mengapa..setiap yang diatas itu pasti bermula dari bawah juga..maybe kite terpaksa bertatih dalam perniagaan..bermula dari kosong..merangkap..dan untuk bangun kite mengambil masa bertahun tahun..sedangkan kawan kite mungkin selepas habis belajar terus ambil alih syarikat family..dan tak sampai setahun sudah membina empayar..sedangkan kite masih terkial kial..tidak mengapa..kerana insyallah..rezeki itu sudah tertulis untuk kite dan mereka..mungkin cara dan bagaimana kite berjaya itu lain dan sukar..tapi kita harus yakin..Allah itu adil..

andai kite ditakdirkan berkali kali berjumpa dengan orang yang salah sedangkan ada orang lain ..sekali je berjumpa dengan orang yang betul dan hidup bahagia..tapi kita..asyik berjumpa orang yang salah..asyik dikecewakan..asyik derita..umur kita mungkin makin meningkat..tapi kite still tidak bertemu dengan jodoh kite..kite sering berjumpa dengan orang yang tidak menghargai kite..kemudian kite ditinggalkan..dan sampai suatu saat..kite bersendirian sedangkan orang lain bergembira dan berbahagia..
ingat..jangan kite terlalu meratapi nasib kite..kerana insyallah..Allah mahu memberi kite yang lebih baik..kerana Allah mungkin tahu nasib kite akan lebih baik jika kite bersendirian..kerana Allah itu tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kite dimasa sekarang dan akan datang…

andai kite ditakdirkan dilahirkan sebagai orang yang tidak cantik,tidak kacak..muka kita berjerawat..kite gemuk..kite kurus kering..jangan kite berasa malu dengan kurniaan Allah pada kite..kerana insyallah..walaupun kite tidak secantik orang lain..tapi Allah kasih pada kite.hati kite tenang..kite tiada perasaan riak..kite terpelihara..ingat..kalau kite rasa kita tidak mempunyai rupa paras yang menawan..kite akan tetap kelihatan menawan dimata Allah dan dimata orang2 yang sayang kat kite..walaupun kite tidak cantik..tapi hati kite baik..biar orang cakap kat kite:walaupun dia taklah secantik mana..tapi dia sangat berbudi bahasa”..daripada orang cakap kat kite “muke je cantik..tapi busuk hati”….

insyallah..ada jalannya..

with love,


Kadang-kadang saya terfikir
” bagaimana seorang anak mampu untuk mceritakan segala masalahnya kepada ibu bapanya ?? ”

Macam saya ? Yup, saya mempunyai seorang mama yang sangat sporting, muda dan she’s like my bestfriend.. Saya ada seorg abah yg selalu myokong saya dalam semua hal. Dan sy mempunyai seorang kekasih yg sentiasa ada dsisi saya ketika saya memerlukan.

TETAPI, bagaimana rapat sekalipun saya dengan mereka. Oleh kerana mereka adalah insan kesayangan di hati saya. Saya tidak akan sekali kali mampu utk bercerita mengenai permasalahan saya kepada mereka. TIDAK AKAN DAN TIDAK MUNGKIN !!

Saya lebih rela menangis keseorangan tanpa berteman daripada bercerita apa yg saya tanggung dan apa yg myebab kan saya bersedih kepada mereka,.

KERANA, saya sayang kan mereka, saya tak nak dieorang sedih ataupn risau memikirkan saya dn saya nak dieorg anggap sy ok. Dan saya nak dianggap sebagai seorang gadis kalis. Kalis dari pelbagai dugaan, serta permasalahan.

Yeah, sometimes sure akan ada rasa give up, sunyi dan need somebody. but its still ok for me, as long saya tak myusahkan sesiapa 🙂

With love,

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I hate that feeling when you randomly feel depressed. There is no warning, no apparent reason. It just happens. You feel empty, and you feel hopeless. And you just feel tired. As if you never want to move again. Then when someone asks you what’s wrong, you can’t say because there is nothing that comes to mind. Then you start thinking of what it could be, and you realize just how much is wrong.

” orang mukmin melihat dunia sebagai penjara,
manakala orang kafir melihat dunia sebagai syurga.
tetapi di dunia juga ada syurga.
bagi orang yang mengerti dan merasai…”